Potty Training Accomplished

There comes a time in your toddler's life when he can finally transition from those Huggies or Pampers to bona-fide underwear. Though you may worry about the increased amount of laundry and potentially more sleepless nights, it's really not about you but rather about your child's development. There are so many books about potty-training, one may think it's one of the hardest milestones of child rearing. While it is not an easy process, there are ways to make it simpler. Here's how to potty-train your child without the headache.

When to start potty-training

Moms are frequently obsessed with hitting the milestones right when their friends or neighbors do. You probably already know that every child is unique and developmental steps are going to be reached at different times. This applies to potty-training more than anything. Do not rush! If you heard that children are typically ready for potty-training between the ages of 18 to 36 months, it doesn't mean you should start at 18. Starting before your toddler is ready may translate into a long and painful teaching period. On the other hand, pediatricians advise you to wait until all the signs are there, so it could be a simple 1-week course with simple follow-up for the next 3-6 months. Additionally, according to a study from the American Academy of Pediatrics boys master potty training 4-5 months later than girls, usually not until after their third birthday. Most experts say that toilet training is especially effective when the toddler can control most of the process. So set realistic expectations and watch for signs to know your toddler is ready before you begin.

Potty-training signs of readiness

Remember that all children eventually learn how to use the potty, so watch for signs of readiness without putting too much stress on yourself or the baby to do it early. Starting before your toddler is ready could translate into more struggles and more accidents. Identifying all the potty-training signs of readiness means you will be more successful when you start the training process. Here are the questions to ask yourself:

• Does he show interest in the bathroom and others using it?
• Does he stay dry at least for a few hours at a time?
• Does he have bowel movements at predictable times? Does he tell you or show signs (squatting, grunting) before he is about to have one?
• Can he pull down his pants?
• Can he sit on a small chair (such as a potty chair)?
• Does he know the difference between wet and dry?
• Does he respond to your praise and positive motivation?

If you answered YES to ALL of these questions, your toddler is ready to begin. You can now arm yourself with the tools that would help you in the process.

Things to get you started

Linda Sonna, author of Mommy Rescue Guide to Potty Training calls moms potty coaches who teach with patience, consistency and compassion and end each session on a positive note. What can help in the long-term process is being ready with a variety of essential items and a few extras. Essentials that you will need:

• potty chair (preferable over potty seat over the regular toilet which is not as safe)
• wipes, toilet paper and soap
• a few sets of toddler underwear
• training pants (such as Pampers Easy-Ups)
• rewards (stickers, coins, small toys, etc.)
• books about potty

Have your toddler help you in picking the potty seat, books and underwear; he may be more excited about the process if you keep him involved and give him the freedom to choose.

Word of caution on when not to start the training: during a vacation, a time of stress, when a new child just enters the household, if the child is sick. If things are not working, take a break and start again later.

Potty training process

Though there are programs that promote 1-day potty training and probably work for some, I am a strong believer in letting the children learn naturally, without pushing. Really focus on being patient, relaxed and positive through this process. Take it easy! And, if you start when all the readiness signs are present, the process should be fairly simple and quick.

1. Once your toddler shows all signs of readiness, start by reading a Potty book, such as A Potty for Me!: A Lift-the-Flap Instruction Manual, or Everyone Poops (My Body Science Series) (My Body Science Series), or The Potty Train.
2. Let your toddler sit on the potty chair, fully clothed for now, while you explain to him about the toilet use and hygiene and read the potty book. At the same time make sure he can see you/your husband using the toilet, so he can visualize and get used to the process. Make potty sitting part of his routine and try to time it around when he would naturally need to use it (after meals or drinks). Decorate the potty with stickers and have one of his favorite characters use it (Elmo, Mickey, dolly, etc.).
3. Once he is used to the potty chair, change the diaper while he is on it and drop it in the potty, demonstrating what happens with the contents of the diaper. Changing the diaper locale, say authors of What to Expect: Toddler Years, helps the toddler make an association between what's made in the diaper and in the potty.
4. Now your toddler should have a good understanding of the process and is ready to try it without the diaper. Let him play near the potty without the diaper (and shoes) and remind him to use the potty when he needs to. Once he does, make sure show appreciation and to reward him with a sticker, a small toy, a block for his collection, a coin for the piggy bank, or a call to grandma. There is nothing like mommy's excitement and praise to encourage more of the same result (in this case going potty). Let him have some juice or water in the bathroom, so the need to go will be stronger. You can also try the old trick of turning on the water and running it for a little while. Most importantly, try to get your little one to relax, so his sphincter opens up for the waste to flow out.
5. Switch your toddler from the diaper to training pants. You can try cotton training pants - they are washable, so diaper expenses will go down, and kids can feel messy when the pants are soiled. Or, you can try disposable training pants, such as Pampers Easy-Ups - easy to toss, easy to pull up and especially good for travel or overnights. Using clothing that is easy to pull on and off also makes it helpful for a toddler just learning to dress. Pick pants with elastic waistbands for boys, skirts for girls, and shorter tops for both.
6. Determine the routine: toddlers usually have a pattern for potty - having to urinate on waking in the morning and after nap, or having a bowel movement after breakfast or dinner. Once you know what these patterns are, encourage your child to use the potty. Keep the potty learning process going with a lot of positive reinforcement. Most likely, if you start when he is ready and use a lot of patience and praise, you will succeed in no time. If you are a working Mom, practice potty training when you have the time (morning and after dinner are great opportunities) and don't worry so much about the schedule. Any practice is helpful. If the training is just not working out, take a break for a month and then start again.
7. Teach your child about toilet hygiene - about the process of wiping, about flushing, about hand washing. Many potty training children's books have examples of this.
8. Use a lot of genuine praise and rewards and avoid getting upset or impatient. You can try a few games to get your toddler excited about potty.

Night-time potty

Night-time potty use is generally more difficult than daytime. First of all, encourage your child to use the potty right before going to bed and as soon as he wakes up from sleep. AAP recommends using training pants instead of diapers overnight and during naptimes while you are potty-training. You can always put a plastic sheet underneath the bed sheet to reduce cleanup. Remember not to get upset; accidents will happen, so be patient and keep rewarding potty use.

What you should teach your toddler for the night-time use is to either use the potty himself (if he can easily walk to the bathroom and back without any trouble) or call for you to help. Since there are many toilet accidents, it is probably best for you to supervise the process at all times. Make sure that your bathroom is completely safe - soft flooring or carpet, nightlights, safety clip on the toilet seat. I would also recommend ending liquids an hour before bedtime - let him have a cup of milk before he takes a bath, brushes his teeth, and reads the night-time books.

The most importance advice given on potty training, I think, is stay relaxed. Parents tend to get a bit tense about every stage of their first child's development - first, it's caring for baby right after birth, then it's rolling over, then it's walking. Once each of these stages passes you realize you didn't really need to fret about it - it seems like a simple natural step when you look from the bigger perspective. So relax and proceed, practice makes perfect and know that every child is eventually potty trained.

Written by Mommy Mom